Abstract

In 2009 I started blogging about sex and sexualities because I wanted to contribute to creating space for African women to chat with one another about our bodies. My goal at the time was simple. I wanted more African women to have pleasurable sex. My belief then and now is that a range of societal factors (such as the idea that only “bad” women have sex before marriage) prevent African women from fully delighting in our own bodies, and this affects our rights to have pleasurable sex. I decided to stimulate conversations amongst African women by sharing my own personal experiences about sex, and this journey of sharing and documenting stories has also allowed me to interrogate my own socialization, assumptions, and thoughts about sex. This learning journey has included reflecting on my own sexual experiences, and pushing myself to be honest with my partners about my desires, dreams and fantasies. I have also been inspired by the numerous stories that women have shared with me about their own experiences of sex and pleasure.